attack of the pod plants

yesterday morning i was attempting to tame some unruly bushes when i came across the vine that has been plaguing my yard all summer in its true form. vehemently attacking some bush branches twisted with vine, i threw a mass of vine over my shoulder and it was much heavier than expected. i looked down at the driveway and saw this:sweet jesus! now that my eyes had been opened, i could see the pods were everywhere. i was sure that at any moment they would rupture and alien babies with sharp teeth and claws would emerge, along with billows of noxious gas capable of incapacitating an adult female long enough for the spawn to begin to feed. luckily i was able to neutralize the threat by shoving heaps of the vines in impenetrable home depot lawn and refuse bags.

and people wonder why i can't sleep at night.