Saturday, May 9, 2009

where have all the nachos gone?

dear great american ballpark,

i am writing to let you know how much i truly enjoy all you have brought to the cincinnati reds. you offer charming vistas and a scoreboard game involving skyline three-ways.

it sure was super nice of you this year to offer hot dogs for $1. i almost thought about waiting in line, but decided i needed to eat before i chewed my arm off.

i applaud the return of the fantastical onion dispensers and goetta dogs. i am happy you also got a clue and started selling nacho cheese at the same stand with the soft pretzels. my "pretzelzilla" was quite attractive, with slightly sweet dough and not too much salt.

however, i have to ask, what in the hell are you trying to pass off as nachos? pre-packaged quarter-sized chips with a cup of plasticky room temperature cheese? the vacuum sealing must have sucked all the flavor out. the chips looked anemic.

above is what real nachos at the ballgame should look like. and i shouldn't have to tramp around the whole f-ing stadium looking for them. believe it or not, some people actually go to the ballgame to see baseball and would appreciate readily available, edible refreshments. not crap in a shiny wrapper for $6.75. i could smuggle these in and save myself 5 bucks.

thank you for your time and consideration.


Heather said...

they sold you lunchables???? NO WAY!!!!

k said..., not lunchables, but very similar. pre-packaged, vacuum sealed tiny chips with a cup of cheese. i think there may also have been a packet of relish-like substance that was supposed to pass as jalapenos. and actually, we didn't buy them because the girl working at the concession stand recommended we not. she told us at what stand we could find the real deal.