Tuesday, June 15, 2010

squirtable cheesecake: is it a condiment?

beth and i have found ourselves breakfasting at ihop with alarming frequency recently. for two people that don't favor that meal, twice in 8 days is a lot....

ihop is fascinating because they are innovators in integrating sugar into breakfast food. why have plain french toast when you can have french toast stuffed with cream? why just have a waffle when you can top a waffle with pie filling and whipped cream? i think that's one of the reasons i don't really like breakfast that much -- i don't like all the sugary stuff. that and the eggs. i don't like eggs and they seem to be offered with everything. i agree. hate the eggs.

which leads us to the newest menu treat that popped up on our radar: the pancake stacker. it is, as it sounds, a stack of 2 pancakes with a layer of "cheesecake" in between. cheesecake shot out of a pastry bag, that is. cheesecake that melts and has kind of an unpleasant texture and taste. it should be noted that brian ordered this treat. he ordered them plain (i.e. without the sugary fruit) b/c he doesn't like fruit. for some reason that just makes me laugh. he does like cheese though so i suppose it was the perfect plan.

but it did lead us to question - is squirtable cheesecake a viable condiment?

con·di·ment: [kon-duh-muhnt] –noun; something used to give a special flavor to food, as mustard, ketchup, salt, or spices.

the squirtable cheesecake definitely gives a "special flavor" to food. what other foods might it enhance? could it be used on pie instead of whipped cream? brian suggested using it to top a mett, but then accused me of being "over the top" because i proposed a pairing with goetta. at this point it just got ridiculous. anyone who knows brian knows that he does like cheesey -metts.....

moral of the story: if you go to ihop, do not be enticed by the cheap chicanery which is squirtable cheesecake, the newest condiment conceived to perpetuate obesity in america. frankly, it's just not very good. krissy can say that since she tried it and i did not....it just wasn't in the cards that day of me. i also think keeping cheesecake separate from pancakes is just a good policy in general. it ruins both.

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