squirtable cheesecake: is it a condiment?

beth and i have found ourselves breakfasting at ihop with alarming frequency recently. for two people that don't favor that meal, twice in 8 days is a lot....

ihop is fascinating because they are innovators in integrating sugar into breakfast food. why have plain french toast when you can have french toast stuffed with cream? why just have a waffle when you can top a waffle with pie filling and whipped cream? i think that's one of the reasons i don't really like breakfast that much -- i don't like all the sugary stuff. that and the eggs. i don't like eggs and they seem to be offered with everything. i agree. hate the eggs.

which leads us to the newest menu treat that popped up on our radar: the pancake stacker. it is, as it sounds, a stack of 2 pancakes with a layer of "cheesecake" in between. cheesecake shot out of a pastry bag, that is. cheesecake that melts and has kind of an unpleasant texture and taste. it should be noted that brian ordered this treat. he ordered them plain (i.e. without the sugary fruit) b/c he doesn't like fruit. for some reason that just makes me laugh. he does like cheese though so i suppose it was the perfect plan.

but it did lead us to question - is squirtable cheesecake a viable condiment?

con·di·ment: [kon-duh-muhnt] –noun; something used to give a special flavor to food, as mustard, ketchup, salt, or spices.

the squirtable cheesecake definitely gives a "special flavor" to food. what other foods might it enhance? could it be used on pie instead of whipped cream? brian suggested using it to top a mett, but then accused me of being "over the top" because i proposed a pairing with goetta. at this point it just got ridiculous. anyone who knows brian knows that he does like cheesey -metts.....

moral of the story: if you go to ihop, do not be enticed by the cheap chicanery which is squirtable cheesecake, the newest condiment conceived to perpetuate obesity in america. frankly, it's just not very good. krissy can say that since she tried it and i did not....it just wasn't in the cards that day of me. i also think keeping cheesecake separate from pancakes is just a good policy in general. it ruins both.

nypd pizza

it so happens that if i call brian when i hit kings island on the way home from chillicothe, it is perfect timing for ordering pizza. most recently nypd pizza delivered to our door just as i was pulling in the driveway.

we usually stick to the same medley of menu selections - the available breadstick and plain old cheese pizza. some would say we're boring, but i feel there is a certain elegance in simplicity. if we're feeling really crazy, we might add pepperoni. (this does not apply at places such as dewey's when the toppings are quality and do not include mushrooms from a can)

the breadsticks at nypd were basically pizza crust with cheese, cut in strips instead of wedges. call me crazy, but i generally like my breadsticks to be made of a different dough than the pizza. i appreciate a variety of textures in my meal. the breadsticks were actually much better reheated the next day.on to the main event. the pizza in general was fairly nondescript - mozarella, provolone, pedestrian sauce. the unusual part was the crust. the only way i can think to describe it is pillowy. it was kind of the jay leno of pizza crust - puffy and not a lot of flavor. definitely not something i would stay up late night for, either. i think we'll stick with noce's from now on...unless someone else has an excellent pizza suggestion that will deliver on the westside!

an investigation: what the hell is in my refrigeratror?

warning: for those who do not appreciate inane commentary on mundane saturday afternoon activities, stop reading now.

my refrigerator confuses beth. i think mostly because, she sees, as i do, there isn't a lot of food in it that qualifies as something i would eat. it's literally bursting at the seams, with food sliding onto the floor when the door is opened, and yet i can never find anything to eat. so today i set out to explore the question of what is filling my refrigerator, paper towels and fantastick in hand.

of course we have some commonplace staples: lunchmeat, fruits and veggies, eggs, orange juice, butter, minced garlic. lots of beer and wine shoved in any available space. i started grouping all the extras in categories and i discovered:

as previously discussed at length, i have sort of an obsession with mustard. i can easily justify 7 bottles. sadly, there are even more in the pantry that haven't been opened yet.hmm...neither brian nor i eat pickles or peppers, relishy type things in general. how did we manage to amass 7 jars? i suspect the culprit must be my mother. and no, i have in not been craving them with ice cream during my pregnancy.

speaking of ice cream, i found an embarassing amount of ice cream toppings.from pecorino romano to gorgonzola to kraft singles, there was an equally appalling magnitude of cheese... yogurt...and milk. at least we're getting our dairy. to explain why we have 4 kinds of milk - the almond and soy are for me, the skim for my mom, and the 2% is technically brian's. normally whole milk would be in place of 2%, but i won a fight in the grocery store following an elevated cholesterol panel. you can't see it in the picture, but of course the 2% is expired and i suspect the diesel milk will make it into our shopping cart again.an over abundance of salad dressings. i've no explanation.

and then we come to the really random stuff.

one-time purchases for a recipe that continue to squat, loitering in the recesses of the fridge.who knows what i originally had planned for this. probably something delicious. too bad it expired in 2009.really? someone actually went through the trouble of putting this back?

i'm so proud of myself. my refrigerator is nice and clean and organized. pure bliss. i predict this will last approximately 34 hours.and, the mystery is solved - my refrigerator and i could make an appearance on "hoarders".

next up, the deep freeze. or perhaps the pantry.

maybe some other day.