attack of the pod plants

yesterday morning i was attempting to tame some unruly bushes when i came across the vine that has been plaguing my yard all summer in its true form. vehemently attacking some bush branches twisted with vine, i threw a mass of vine over my shoulder and it was much heavier than expected. i looked down at the driveway and saw this:sweet jesus! now that my eyes had been opened, i could see the pods were everywhere. i was sure that at any moment they would rupture and alien babies with sharp teeth and claws would emerge, along with billows of noxious gas capable of incapacitating an adult female long enough for the spawn to begin to feed. luckily i was able to neutralize the threat by shoving heaps of the vines in impenetrable home depot lawn and refuse bags.

and people wonder why i can't sleep at night.

pizza, pizza!

little caesars has finally broken out of kmart! their exuberance is clear - outside the new location is this crazy kid dancing and singing on the sidewalk with a paperboard guitar. genius marketing.
brian and kevin went to pick up some 'hot-n-ready' pizza for the bengals game today. i haven't had little ceasars in years, mostly because i'm sure as hell not going to eat in kmart. the crazy bread was nice and drenched in butter and garlic. the pizza was flat, crunchy and actually not too bad. the addition of the spice pak, composed of various dehydrated and partially hydrogenated vegetables, added extra tastiness. most importantly, the pizza was neat to eat. a lack of dripping toppings and sauce made it easy for the guys to watch the game and check fantasy football standings on their respective laptops without any mishaps.
2 pizzas, crazy bread, and a 2-liter - all this for a mere $14. hurray for cheap pizza!

yay, just cured!

just cured's half-smoked salmon will be featured by jean-robert in his dish this weekend at gourmet sensation. the even takes place saturday, september 6 from 7-11. proceeds benefit hospice of cincinnati.

top 5 favorite fantastic ways to enjoy creamy whip

this top 5 is a homage to one of the most perfect foods in the universe, creamy whip. my mother is convinced if we could bring creamy whip to the people of the middle east, there would be peace.

the westside is inundated with creamy whip stands: buster's, putz's, keller's cone zone (formerly tummy treats), sweets and eats, general custer's last ice cream stand (i'm sure i'm forgetting some), and my particular favorite, the zip dip.

so here are my top 5 favorite fantastic ways to enjoy creamy whip, in all its glory:

- the twist cone. whether it be orange/vanilla or chocolate/vanilla, there's the sublime joy of the flavors mingling in your mouth.

- red dip. i think it's supposed to be cherry, but really it's that fabulous faux red-flavored solid shell. eat it fast. melting ice cream will seep through the cracks.

- oreo parfait. have you ever met a person, you say, "let's get some parfait," they say, "hell no, i don't like no parfait"? parfaits are delicious.

- jimmies. yeah, that's right, i said jimmies. that's 'sprinkles' for all you eastsiders.

- put it in a mini plastic baseball hat. sweet. just rinse it well before turning the hat over to the pug.

laura ingalls has nothing on us

this labor day, beth and i labored over a pile of tomatoes (from her garden) and peaches (from hollmeyer orchards).the morning was spent squeezing the guts out of the tomatoes, which was oddly satisfying and actually a lot of fun. beth had previously frozen the tomatoes, so the skins slid right off and all we had to do was express the seeds into a bag for disposal.

after the peeling and pressing, the tomatoes went in a pot with some spices to make sauce. while that simmered, we turned our attention to the peaches.

consulting the ball complete book of home preserving, we found that an easy way to remove peach peels was to boil them briefly and follow that up with a dip in cold water. we would like to go on record: the ball complete book of home preserving lies.

after what we felt to be a sufficient boil and ice bath, the peach skins would still not peel. we ended up using a paring knife. well, beth did. i don't do so well with sharp objects.

the peaches were cooked for 5 minutes in boiling sugar water. it didn't smell very good.

henry ford is a wise man, so we followed his example and made a canning assembly line. pour peaches, add a tablespoon bacardi (everything tastes better with liquor!), pour syrup, lid, ring, screw. perfect. and that funnel thing? awesome.

the jars were boiled for 25 minutes, held upright in the pot by a slick rack. removing them from the pot, the anticipation was palpable as we waited for the first pop as the jar sealed. finally, the sucking securement cemented, forming an impregnable barrier to the elements. soon tomato sauce and stewed tomatoes followed suite, and four hours of work had yielded three large jars of seedy stewed tomatoes, eight jars of marinara, and six jars of 'spirited' peaches. beth and i are now confident we could hold our own on the prairie next to laura ingalls wilder.

we figured with this haul, we could eat pasta twice a week with peaches for dessert, until, like, at least december. hmm. i don't think we'd make it through the long winter.

the biggest little fair in ohio

the streets of cheviot are lined with chairs and there is a distinctive whiff of livestock on the air. this can only mean one thing - harvest home fair.

the festivities kick off tomorrow with the parade at 6pm. check out displays of everything from flowers to horses. there's even a 5K for the ambitious among us. see you there!

nick and tom's

i hadn't been to nick and tom's in ages, so when my mom and her friend diane (my second mom) suggested it for dinner the other night, i was game. i was also pretty curious to see if the addition of keno would change the milieu of the place.

the place was pretty packed, but we were seated right away and i ordered a glass of robert mondavi private selection pinot noir. unfortunately, the glass came out and had lipstick on the rim, which, as diane pointed out, wasn't my color. our server was very sweet and apologetic and brought another glass.

for a starter, i ended up with the soup of the day, mushroom. my husband had ordered potato soup, but was brought the mushroom. our very sweet and apologetic server brought him another cup and left the mushroom at the table for someone else. the soup was cream based and stuffed with large mushroom pieces, but the flavor was a little flat.

for dinner, i opted to have the appetizer of portabella mushroom, shrimp, tomatoes, onion and cheese. i felt like something small and light. i also ordered a side of mashed potatoes, which kind of defy small and light, but i wanted to see how they tasted.as you can see in the photo, it's pretty much drenched in oil. it was also super garlicky. i had a hard time finishing it for these reasons. the mashed potatoes were real potatoes (which can be hard to come by on the westside) but a little dry.

my mom and diane had better luck than i did. my mom ordered the mediterranean pasta and diane the southwestern, loaded with beans and cheese. both of them enjoyed their entrees. brian had prime rib, which he said was good, especially considering it was only $17.

in my mind, no meal is complete without dessert. at nick and tom's, it was the blackberry cobbler that caught my eye. it wasn't too sweet, but i also discovered i prefer crisps or streusels to cobblers. i like the crumbly top better than the biscuit-like.

brian was enticed by the brownie. it was pretty intense - covered in whipped cream and crumbled reese cups and roughly the size of lichtenstein. he practically licked the plate clean.

overall, i would say the experience was mediocre and i think it will again be ages before i darken nick and tom's door. unless i pick up keno.